Broke me again

We have just hit home after three weeks in the USA. We tend to cram a lot into our time away, this trip being no different.  We met new people, reconnected with people we've met before, saw, tasted and experienced things alien til that point.

I had a mental checklist to tick off. Some things remain unticked, some things got ticked that I didn't know should have been on this list and some got the big checkmark against them.


I didn't get my hair braided. I've been growing it for a while and told my (now adult) children I was getting cornrows. They were so disgusted with the thought I knew I had to go ahead with it. 
Then I found out  it can take all day - time I didn't actually have! I toyed with just braids... and then decided it was all too hard and I had too much to see. 


I didn't get a meal at IHOP (International House of Pancakes) but DID go to chuck-e-cheese, a different ... tradition. We discovered eateries of many varieties and experienced a range of menus.


While a certain part of me looked for a young adoptee - out of the thousands adopted by US families, I wanted to find just one in particular, good luck to me - I found instead other little people who'd been adopted by beautiful loving families, and their presence was part of what gave me joy.


I did manage to put voices and physical presence to many social media "friends" - now actual friends - and added more to my 'collection' along the way. How small the world becomes when it's seemingly only two keyboards and monitors separating you from people across the other side of the world. 

We saw the majestic splendour that is the Grand Canyon, the lights and apparent glamour that is Las Vegas. The faded grande dame Los Angeles, the hurry that is New York. We stalked St. Louis, the main reason for our visit. 


A good cup of coffee eluded me this visit, except that one cup in a Harlem restaurant. I received less quizzical glances when I asked for gluten free, and the novelty of never ending "candy" and "soda" had well and truly worn out.

So now three days later with a travel hangover, photos selected for printing, the suitcase unpacked and gifts distributed, I am beginning to process the beauties, the despair, the joys and the history experienced.


There is just a certain something about the USA. Hard to pinpoint, hard to even generalise. Just a something. It gets into that micro-micro-mili space between the layers of my skin and I can't wash it out. While it uplifts and embraces me, it also breaks me. Every time.