How can we even...

How do we even remotely comprehend?
How can we even start to wonder?
Last Friday rocked the world in a way wars, famine and politics can't. It ripped at our heart strings.

We've all done the "what if it had been me?" thought processing.

Even planned-to-be childless couples understand the depth of the tragedy.

People, including grandparents, with children of all ages, shudder and vow to hold their children tighter.

In a world in which parents are already called too protective, too careful, too disinfected... The world now sees more need to be more protective, more careful and more disinfected.
Because.. 
How can you even...?

How can you sit at work after a terrible morning where you slept in, then grumpily rushed the kids through breakfast, through getting out of bed, through short tempered "you can't wear that it's dirty, hurry up hurry up hurry up" and a hasty peck n the cheek at the "kiss and drop" zone at school....
And wonder if you'll see them tonight to make it better?

How can you sit through the knowledge that they heard you and your husband arguing last night and saw you being distant with each other this morning over a trivial nothing ....
And wonder if you'll see any of them tonight to make it better?

You can't. You just can't.

Because life is full of risks. And we can't prepare for everything.

The chances of a gunman destroying your baby's school day are, what, millions to one?
The chances of the same gunman taking your baby's life at school are maybe rarer.
But it happened.

The chances of anything happening are exactly that, they are chances. Everything we do is full of risk. Even though we want to protect our kids, need to protect our kids, there is danger everywhere around us. 
Living life in a cocoon isn't the answer.

You can't know anyone's story, every person is fighting a battle we don't know about. And how and when their unknown reaction to their unknown battle will erupt is anyone's guess.
And it's not just the mentally ill or the traumatised. It's any person reacting to any situation.

But we can't raise our kids to be terrified, we can't pass our adult fear onto them. 
Depending on their age, they can't process properly. 
We adults can't process this tragedy properly, what hope have our kids got?
They see our tears, they hear our anger and frustration. Much as we try to hide it, they see the fear, sorrow and frustration in our eyes and in our movements. They see us angrily tapping into Facebook, twitter, blogs etc as we express our disbelief and question our government, our nation, our society.

Their innocence has been lost in this world where we ask why children have lost the art of playing, imagining and of fantasy. 

But they need to know there is also good in the world, there is wonder, joy, happiness and fun. 
That there are people who would give them the shirt off their back, the food off their table and the toys from their playroom.

We are the grown ups, the ones who grieve and who hurt.
We need to be the example and the 'safe place'.

We need to let kids know its still okay.
We need to let kids know people care.
We need to let kids see us picking up and going on.
We need to let kids know that there are safe adults.

Love them, give them a safe anchor at home and give them wings.
Pray protection over them, it's the best you can do.
Yes the Sandy Hook parents probably did the same that Friday morning, they did the best that they could do. 
Their hearts and lives will never, ever be the same and their babies didn't come home... Through no fault of their own.

I don't have the answers but I pray for our children growing up the generation of fear. 
They need to be able to soar, and we need to be proud of them stretching their wings and give them the room to be free.