Coming last in first aid

I did first aid training today at work.
Aargh.
Eight hours of compression bandages, role playing and words like pus, intestines, gaping wound and spinal injury. 

I always offer to be the dead person in role plays, I figure I can't get anything wrong that way. I am usually last to do the CPR drill on the dummies though; I never quite get the head tilted back far enough. (Side note: not for you though I'd always do CPR right for you), I reckon by the time the instructor finally gets to assess me she's so tired she won't notice the chest doesn't quite rise and fall enough. Didn't work today either. 

It amazed me how much I already knew. Not remotely because I'm brilliant, nor because I remember from the last lot of training, but because between the four kids we created, we have had asthmatics, reactors to bee stings, choking children, deep cuts needing immediate stitching, burns requiring hospital visits, dog bites needing stitches, antibiotics and leaving scarring, appendicitis, heart murmurs, broken bones, sprains, strains, split heads, eye injuries, one who regularly dehydrated after one episode of vomiting, ant bites.... We ticked so many boxes, well done kids!

Today's partner and I managed figure eight bandages around our ankles in case of snake bite.. Woah, you wouldn't want another snake to come nearby. Your partner, who would of course have been with you to tie you up, would run a mile and you'd be left with an amazingly tight and neat figure eight bandage to ward off the next snake.  

We discussed St. John's slings vs regular slings. 
The fact that more deaths occur from people walking away after having an epipen shot instead of going to hospital.
The fact that Australian animals aren't the most deadly, they're the most venomous. (Because fewer of us die, folks. We just keep going)
That white tail spiders aren't actually dangerous, more just disgustingly dirty foul little creatures who are so full of bacteria and stuff we react to that. (So more like a dusty white, or dirty beige tail then?)
 We're back to splinting as well. It went out of favour for a while because everyone was splinting everything that wouldn't move, but now they realise splints have their place (like if you're in the desert or the ocean, apparently) so we can splint again.
Just when you thought your joy bucket couldn't get fuller.

I know that first aid training is essential. I know when I am struck with the need to use my training, I will say 'um' a lot. But I also know common sense kicks in, just like it did when the kids presented me with all their ailments, before I was a certified first aid person thingy.

When the instructor was talking about phoning 000, she told us how the conversation would go and how the central office handles calls, etc. She also said 'don't hang up on emergency services. Always be last to hang up'
And my stubborn immature brain imagined a call.

"No you hang up."
"No YOU hang up"
"No you hang up first"
"Alright let's hang up together... One two.. You haven't hung up have you?"

Always be last.