not so girly ...

I went to a friend's handbag party a while back and embarrassed myself.

I didn't, for once, tip my coffee, talk about someone's sister or trip over the table. No, I showed my ungirlyness.
And yes that's a word. I just made it so.

Here's what I did.
I asked why people have more than one handbag.
(gasp) 

which then led to my discovery that "other" women have more than one shade of lipstick. 
In their bag. 
At the same time.
(yes the crickets chirped when I dropped that clanger, too)

AND more shoes than just work shoes, thongs (flip flops), and sneakers. 

Seriously, there were lightbulbs snapping everywhere for me that day. 

Here I had been thinking all those shades of lipstick were just for different skin tones... And you can only wear one colour at a time, right?
When they asked what I do for lipstick when I wear a different colour, I answered "that's WHEN I wear lipstick". 
I forgot to say "if I remember where it is"

Hmm.

Back in the day when I tried to fit in, I noticed my friends "popped their collars" (ie for those like me who don't understand the lingo of he hip, they wore the collar of their shirts UP instead of down) so...I did the same.
And the effect?
"Oh you silly sausage" clucked one of my popped collar friends "you haven't dressed yourself very well today have you?.. " and she straightened my collar back down.

Another time I had my very best Meg Ryan tousled hairdo just so. As I walked up to a friend, she patted me on the shoulder and said "an extra five minutes in front of the mirror this morning just didn't happen for you today, did it?"

Yet another friend describes me thus: "She's like a kindergarten (4 year old) girl. She has her favourite shirt, her favourite skirt, her favourite shoes and she wears them ALL together, and doesn't even care if they match or not"

And you know what? I think their comments are hilarious. And so me. I laughed then and I laugh now. (well okay maybe I didn't laugh THEN, but you know, a week.. or maybe it was a year ... later I did) because I know I'm not a girly girl.

I'm not a bling, sparkle, glamour or fluffy girl at all.

I'm a denim and tshirt girl. My Doc Martens are my favourite footwear and apart from mascara (so you can see I have eyelashes), I don't wear makeup.
My hair is cropped short unless in its current longer style pulled back with a scrunchie.

When I tried on my wedding dress waaay back in the day, I wore big boots and football socks (it was cold alright?) - much to the horror of the starchy sales assistant.

I had no idea at the time that it would become one of my very favourite retold stories - man, the look on her face when I held up the skirt of the dress and she saw my footwear was priceless  - and I was totally clueless. 
I had NO idea girls wore heels and maybe even took more than one pair of shoes to try on a dress. 
Like.. why would you even...?

My daughters, therefore, have grown up with me as their 'womanly' role model. 
And I grew up with a mother who was the same. 
As was her mother.

Not that I even remotely come near their examples. Maybe when I'm a grown up?

I saw my mother dressed in her non matching clothes and no makeup as she offered a place at our family dinner table to the hungry, a place of rest in our living room to the unloved and a heart for God to anyone she met.

She saw her mother who had six children, a deserter husband and no money give the little she had to help others. Yes, in her non matching clothes and no makeup.

And I know five minutes more in front of the mirror never even occured to either of them.